I’m having one of those days. You know the sort: where nothing disastrous happens, your life is looking pretty good, but it all feels a bit bleak. I suppose that’s a good description of my today. Despite my best efforts, I haven’t been able to shake off this damn feeling.
M and I have been in contact again since he called me last weekend. I haven’t told any one of my friends who knows what he did and said to me at the end of last year, but I know it isn’t a popular move. After everything he said, how can I be so willing to be in contact with him again? I don’t know, I really don’t.
Communication between us hasn’t exactly been flowing easily, and I suspect that confusion isn’t helping my mood. Neither are my hormones (my time of the month is due any moment now). I’m not sure what to make of it all, and something in my gut tells me this has got something to do with his addiction. I’m pretty sceptical about the girlfriend situation, and I wonder whether I’m in denial or whether my gut instinct is right.
By coincidence, my colleague gave me the male perspective on why guys make out that they have 3 or 4 girls on the go. His words were completely unprompted. Even though he knows M exists, I never gave him the most recent lowdown on what happened with M so his words were welcomed, and I know he wasn’t just saying it to make me feel better.
When I’m most confused, I look to my horoscope for clues. I know a lot of people would scoff at that, but sometimes you need a bit of direction and to make sure you’re on the right track, you know? I suppose after the highs of the kick ass week and adopting a more positive attitude to life, I’ve been feeling a bit muddled now things are naturally grind to a halt a little bit.
I’m going to put my little violin away, read some more of The Magic before bed, and continue being the sassy lady that I am. Positivity will resume once again – here’s for a better tomorrow!