I Don’t Know How to Get Over Someone

Why is getting over someone so difficult?

Besides the false hope I held onto, I think this is the other reason why I’ve been procrastinating calling it off with M – I didn’t want to deal with the aftermath of it. I’m emotional, sensitive and a crier, and I’m not very good at goodbyes. Especially with someone my heart doesn’t want to say goodbye to, but it’s about time I started listening to my head and gut. Because my little gut feeling rarely lets me down.

Does it help that I was the one who called things off? Maybe. At least it wasn’t completely out of the blue for me, the feelings were brewing for a while. But this slow fade, it wasn’t easy to witness or be part of, and I don’t know if I can say it but my god, I wish things were so different between us.

That glimmer of hope I’ve been holding onto so long doesn’t make things easier. I want him to come back, and fight for me damn it. I’m embarrassed to say that. I thought I was falling for him. I still remember all those sweet words he uttered.

The thing is, I don’t know how what to do with myself during these kind of days. There’s only so much Titanic and Gilmore Girls watching I can do (spoiler alert: I love the episode when Rory refuses to wallow after her and Dean break up). This weekend, I’ve eaten enough chocolate and junk food than my doctor should ever know. My hair left unbrushed, my face bare, and for what? A guy who has a girlfriend.

I find the days of checking someone’s last seen on WhatsApp, hoping that they’ll send you a message (they never do) and thinking about them endlessly so utterly painful and a bit of a drag. You want to get over them but you’ve also got to be patient and let time do its thing. But it happens, we stop thinking about them as we did. We get on with our lives, we flirt with someone else and then bam … they come back.

How do we get over someone? Answers on a postcard, please.

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