Things No One Tells You About Buying a House

Given that the last two weekends have been spent dealing with basic plumbing issues, it seems appropriate to speed write this, and bump it up on the scheduling priorities. Of course, the TL;DR is this: everything is more expensive than you think, things will go wrong, and everything is such a goddamn pain to fix.

Last week, John Lewis’ team had decided that the valve wasn’t working to install a washing machine, even though the valve is working perfectly fine, and this week, the valve in the shower caused the whole thing to leak constantly. At one point, I felt a bit like Rose from Titanic, but far less glamorous.

So, that’s where we’re at. A fully-functioning washing machine, but no shower. Swings and roundabouts, eh?


You’ll be lucky to go on holiday in the first 12 months of purchasing a house… that is, if you want to decorate it, and need to furnish it too.

There’s something so wonderful about walking into *your* own space after work each evening, knowing that it’s yours. This is especially true after a long day.

Everything will break at the same time, and of course at the same time as your car MOT and insurance. This is what emergency funds are for, right?

You’ll constantly refer to the previous owner as the owner of the house, even though you’ve got that mortgage now, baby.

A basic course in plumbing isn’t essential, but desired.

You feel like you’re constantly apologising to your guests for not having a coffee table, a TV stand, or a side table yet. But, sofas cost how much?!

Talking of which, you’ll start treating furniture you bought with the utmost care in the world, too scared to get any marks on the sofa or the new side lamp. Because, sofas cost how much?!

Things no one tells you about living alone: how glorious it is to not have to speak to anyone. Seriously. It’s bliss.

It’s yours to do what you want. Enjoy your blank canvas, and turn your house into a home.





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